To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
