guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
