Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
