i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
