Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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