Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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