So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
