Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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