Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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