I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize