he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize