They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
