ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
