I'm really into asian looking animals
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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