the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You pole danced in your parka.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
