ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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