More tranny stories later!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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