She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
