Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
