Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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