Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
