Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
