you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
