I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
