Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
