Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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