you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
