Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
