it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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