Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
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