I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
