He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
