I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I got chris browned last night
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
