She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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