Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
