i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
