now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Two words: nipple clamps
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