Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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