I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Let's get the cat blown out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
