New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
