Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
