dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize