So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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