You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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