I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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