I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
