I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
