I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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