i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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