I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize