Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
