i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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