I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
