What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize