I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
