The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I think my fart just growled at me.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
