hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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