I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
