he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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