My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
