her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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